I looked over at my husband turning pale, little beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
“You need to sit down,” one nurse demanded. “Someone get an ice pack for his neck! And an apple juice too please!” ordered another.
“Babe, are you ok?” I chuckled.
“Yes, I’m fine. I just need a minute,” he replied.
“Ok sweetie, another contraction is coming. You need to give me a nice strong push on the count of three. Ready? One. Two. Three. Push!”
Once my husband finished his apple juice and no longer looked as though he was going to pass out right there on the delivery room floor, he came to my bedside and helped hold my leg back as I continued to push with every ounce of energy I had left. After about an hour of continuous pushing, our beautiful son arrived. He was absolutely perfect.
Later on, I asked my husband if he was alright. I had never seen him get lightheaded like that before. He said, “I don’t know what came over me. I just looked down and thought ‘my whole life is about to change in an instant’. It was an overwhelming feeling. I just needed to sit for a minute.”
He was right. Our lives did change in an instant. In ways we never could have even imagined. You have 9 months – 9 whole months to try and prepare. It’s never enough.
You go into survival mode. You want to do everything in your power to make sure your baby is healthy and safe, but you literally have no idea what you are doing.
I couldn’t believe a nurse wasn’t going to come home with me after we were discharged from the hospital. Like, you’re really trusting us to keep this tiny, fragile, living, breathing, being alive? All by ourselves? I don’t even want to talk about how stressful the car ride home was.
We got home and things were hard for me. The love I had for this child was indescribable. With that came huge amounts of anxiety. Every noise he made, every noise he didn’t make, breastfeeding with cracked bloody nipples, germs, having too many visitors in one day, not having any visitors the next, is he breathing, is he too cold, why won’t he sleep at night, what am I doing wrong, why can’t I get him to stop crying, am I feeding him too much, not enough? All of these overwhelming thoughts on top of being exhausted and trying to heal. It was a lot.
You have to relearn everything. How to cook, clean, shower, and go to the bathroom with a baby who screams the second you put them down. Fourth trimester woes. Never learned about that one until I was in it. You are at a constant battle with the voices in your head telling you you can’t do it, that you aren’t enough, that you won’t make it through this season. But you fight. You adapt. You find things that work for you, and eventually, once you master the basics again, you can start to get back to all the things you love doing. Like baking, crafting, DIYs, cooking, cleaning, decorating, going out, planning family outings etc. etc. I hope to share all of that and more on this platform!
I wanted to start this blog because there is no manual to being a parent. To be honest, I can’t really write a manual. I can’t tell you how to raise your children, or tell you what would be best for them. What I can do is share my experiences and things I have learned along the way in hopes that it may help make things easier for you. If you are a new parent and have specific questions or concerns, maybe I can help. Maybe someone reading this can help. I encourage you to start a conversation on this page. I want this to be a place where people come and support one another, cheer each other on, and create friendships.
I needed some type of outlet. A place where I can express my creativity and hone into the things I enjoy doing most. A place where I take time for myself, because sometimes I don’t do that enough. I want to find my people. My tribe. If you made it this far in my post, it’s YOU. YOU are my people. They say it takes a village to raise children, and they ain’t wrong!
If there is one thing I want you to take away from this post, it’s that you are not alone. So without further ado, I look forward to getting to know you as I embark on my motherhood blogging journey! Thanks for being here. WE GOT THIS ❤
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